I came across this quote recently and it really struck a cord of things I’ve seen with certain people over the years. This quote can describe various different people in many different examples.
Perhaps it’s a romantic partner, a boss, a teacher, a friend, and even a family member. Regardless of the role, certain people use others as a giant ego boost and/or even worse for financial gain or to use someone for their body alone.
Typically the abuser is older, as it’s common for a younger person to admire “success” and “maturity.” That’s the bait (the “sin” of envy) that the victim doesn’t even realize is there. I would say the most common victim is a girl and her abuser is the boyfriend/husband.
It is quite fascinating to see people of high intelligence being played like suckers, you expect this behavior out of dimwitted people. Not all con artists are selling snake oil on the side of the road. All of them are peddling something even if it’s not a material good and even if it’s free.
Like I mentioned, the most common is the “boyfriend.” I will always say, most men are garbage. They’ll do and say about anything to get laid. The lies and efforts taken in are amazing. And even more insane is how often girls fall for this crap. I have had sex without love but never under falsehoods.
I’ve also seen the boss/coworker abuser too. This one isn’t too crazy if the two work for someone higher up. But I’ve seen countless Queen Bees with their cult. But the worst is people who scam others to invest in some project which totally screws over the victim. A guess that’s where most timeshare salesmen get their practice.
Next is the friend, which is a reason I’m introverted. Friends can shape our religion and political views, some friends convince others dumb nonsense like the Earth being flat or that lizardmen rule the world. Some friends are emotional parasites who are only there to feed the ego and will leave if the feeding isn’t plump.
The worst is the family member, which I haven’t encountered in my own family much. I imagine the closer the relation, the harder the sting upon realization. We often forgive our family the most, especially a mother or father. My mother endangered my life once because of one of her friends who was the narcissist abuser was someone she could never say “no” to. The endangerment was riding in a car with no seat belt on the interstate because her friend couldn’t drive her own car despite a lack of seats.
I haven’t forgiven her for that one, but I’ve tolerated it. But at least for my mother, she’s not an abuser. Her love for me is unconditional. I definitely don’t feed her ego as we clash on politics and religion. I also don’t hand out compliments to her like candy either. I’ve told her some cold hard truths that probably hurt her ego but needed to be said. But if I won the lottery for example, I could trust her to hold the entire fortune and I wouldn’t worry about a cent. And I know the reverse is true.
I don’t think I’ve fallen prey to this much in my life. I’ve always been someone who questions everything heard. But boy, I’ve seen it happen to others. Even lions, bears, tigers, and wolves perform in the circus. For your own sake, don’t be “whipped.”