I didn’t see Scary Movie 3 when it first came out in 2003. By that point I was kind of burned out on the series, and the poster didn’t really pull me in. But with Scary Movie 6 being announced as a revival reboot, I decided to finally give the third one a shot. It’s not a complete garbage film, but it’s definitely not on the same level as the first two.

Like the first movie, it opens with a scene that’s loosely connected to the rest of the story, but it mostly exists to show off a beautiful woman in a bizarre horror setup. This time there are two of them, including Pamela Anderson. I find that kind of funny now, because she’s gone from being the stereotypical fantasy woman “every guy” wanted to someone who looks more like a grandma today. In the movie with her, it’s all about the eye candy, which might have appealed to me when I was 15, but it doesn’t really do anything for me now.

This is also the first Scary Movie where much of the original cast and creative team dropped out. You still have Anna Faris as Cindy Campbell, playing the same klutzy, low-IQ character she’s always been.

One of my biggest complaints is that the movie seems to forget it’s supposed to be a parody of horror films. Aliens are a major theme, and I wouldn’t really consider that part of the horror genre, not even the original Alien.

The most heavily parodied traditional horror movie here is The Ring. I’ve never seen either the Japanese original or the American remake, but I’ve always thought the premise sounded kind of dumb, so most of those jokes didn’t land for me.

A lot of the cameos fall flat too. For some reason it parodies 8 Mile and includes a weird cameo from Simon Cowell, who was still playing “the jerk judge” during the height of American Idol. I’ll give Cowell credit for being willing to do a scene like that, though.

Honestly, South Park did a much better job making fun of Michael Jackson than this movie did. And little did we know at the time that Jackson would pass away just six years later.

Charlie Sheen being a major character also didn’t feel right. I’m sure they offered him a big sack of money, but he mostly just brings his celebrity aura to the movie rather than adding much to the story. I’ll probably check out Scary Movie 4 at some point, but I think I’ll give it a little more time before I stream it.