Gradius: The Interstellar Assault is a Game Boy title that many probably don’t remember, but Nintendo added it to the Nintendo Switch Online collection for seemingly no reason. I had never played this Konami game before, so I gave it a bit of my free time, and it’s pretty bad.

They at least give you three different types of ships, but it only makes a marginal difference in how well you perform.

The graphics are quite poor, even for the original Game Boy. I understand the handheld had a learning curve, but this isn’t easy on the eyes, even by 1990s standards.

This is fairly standard Gradius gameplay, except the speed and controls are so sluggish and clunky compared to others in the series. It’s incredibly easy to crash and burn, even for a game like this.

I don’t know how much Nintendo paid Konami to include this in the Nintendo Switch Online’s Game Boy catalog, but I hope it wasn’t much. This is a title best left forgotten.